princessofburundi: (Default)
[personal profile] princessofburundi
I spent until 1:00 today doing various things to get rid of the panic attack, and when none of them worked I took an Ativan. I don't like doing that. Most of the time I feel really weak for "giving in" (that's the language I use) to taking medication, but I think it's about time that I realized two things: 1) that my psychiatrist prescribed them for just this reason, and b) that being wise enough to know when I need to take one is a sign of strength and self-awareness, not weakness. This is something I really need to learn.

Date: 2017-04-18 04:19 am (UTC)
chasing_silver: (Default)
From: [personal profile] chasing_silver
I used to feel weird about taking my Ativan but honestly, when I can't cope, they help me do so, which is their job. <3

Date: 2017-04-18 04:40 am (UTC)
tielan: Wonder Woman (Default)
From: [personal profile] tielan
If your body doesn't automatically make the chemical neurotransmitters that your brain needs to operate on a level that allows you to function, it's perfectly okay to take the man-made ones that you've been prescribed by a medical professional.

Date: 2017-04-18 12:55 pm (UTC)
8hyenas: (Default)
From: [personal profile] 8hyenas
Came here to say this exact thing! Hard to internalize, but I like to think of it as treating your body well.

Date: 2017-04-18 10:19 pm (UTC)
tielan: (AVG - agents)
From: [personal profile] tielan
I'll be honest, I don't actually know what Ativan does. However prescribed medication is pretty much there to help your biochemistry along when it can't self-regulate.

For some people, the biochemical 'fritz' is temporary - a couple of years (I was suicidal for a while back in the late 90s, and antidepressants literally saved my life). For others, it's a life-long thing (my sister needs to take antidepressants daily to be able to get out of bed and face the day). I am not 'cured' and my sister is not less of a person simply because she needs to orally take those chemicals to function.

Most medications we take aren't "adding" things to us, they're giving our bodies a biochemical kick that our bodies can't or won't for whatever reason. Insulin, anti-depressants, anti-anxiety - heck, even antibiotics - all are there either to replace something that you need to function. And so you take them when you need them, and if you need them monthly, weekly, daily, then you take them monthly, weekly, daily.

(And I just looked Ativan and its effects up.

Think of taking the Ativan as taking the keys off a drunk driver before they get in the car and drive off. Sure, the driver is still drunk and may punch someone in an angry fight, but their ability to wreck things is limited. eta: Your anxiety is the drunk driver, Ativan is the act of taking the keys off them.)
Edited Date: 2017-04-18 10:19 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-04-18 04:44 am (UTC)
slvrbld47: John cups Rodney's face (Default)
From: [personal profile] slvrbld47
Absolutely utterly true. Be patient with yourself, and love yourself is advice I've been given, and now I am passing it onto you. It is harder to do than to say, but well... it really helps to try.

Date: 2017-04-18 05:01 am (UTC)
this_ascension: (silhouette moon)
From: [personal profile] this_ascension
*nod* I'm still coming to terms with my tears not being a sign of weakness, so I can relate in my own way.

Date: 2017-04-19 01:22 am (UTC)
this_ascension: (candle flicker)
From: [personal profile] this_ascension
I have been letting myself cry more and more, and little by little, the deep seeded belief that it's a weakness is fading.

I'm rather glad for it, actually. :)

Date: 2017-04-20 05:43 am (UTC)
this_ascension: (dark flowers)
From: [personal profile] this_ascension
Thank you very much. I also extend the same hope to you. :D ♥

Date: 2017-04-18 05:27 am (UTC)
bsgsix: (Default)
From: [personal profile] bsgsix
Needing your medication to function is absolutely not a sign of weakness or an inability to cope on your own. If your brain isn't producing the chemicals it should to allow you to live your life, it's okay to substitute in those chemicals. Hell, if I didn't take Synthroid (considering I don't have a thyroid and still have recurrent thyroid cancer...), I would die. That's almost happened half a dozen times. So I know I MUST rely on the chemical.

Same with my Valium. I take 4 5-mg Valium a day. It's a high dose, but it does two things very well: one, it helps manage my absent seizures, and two, it keeps me from completely isolating myself from society until the day I die. It allowed me to go to court last week and win my case! It allows me to go to the eastern shore with my family this weekend. I can function. I'm not okay, but I can function.

So you are NOT giving in! You are doing what is right for you. I support you for doing that, and your psych did prescribe them for a reason. I know that it's hard and takes time to get to that mindset - but you will. I have faith in you. <3

Date: 2017-04-18 08:27 pm (UTC)
bsgsix: (Default)
From: [personal profile] bsgsix
I love you, too! And I think that you are worth everything, and worthy of a happy, content life. If taking a med allows you to live that life, it's WELL worth it! Relying on chemicals is scary, but I can promise that you do get used to it. It's just a matter of breaking the mindset - as you said, you need to be kinder to yourself and know that you're taking this med to replace a missing chemical in your brain (just as you take insulin to replace what your pancreas doesn't make, or as I take Synthroid to replace the hormones my absent thyroid cannot make). There's nothing wrong in doing what is right for you, your body, and your mind.

And I thought you'd been pretty absent from FB, but since you're here, I knew you were around. :) I did go to court since I had filed a peace order against a man who was stalking me, threatened to rape me in my home when Toby left for work, and touched himself in front of me and James. It was awful. He's been creeping around, so I filed the order on March 29th, had a temporary order granted for a week, had another case so he could present his side - and the judge thought this ass was "not that bad," but luckily still carried out the temporary peace order for another week. Last Wednesday (the 12th) was the final hearing, so I went BACK to court, jerkface rapist guy didn't show, I pleaded my case before a different judge, and was granted a final, permanent peace order to protect James and me. I did it without an attorney, and I finally stood up for myself! Now, if this guy so much as places a toe on my property, I can call the police, and his first arrest will cost him 90 days in jail. So I haven't seen him since the court date, which is AWESOME. I hope he stays away. We don't need this - and I don't need another stalker in my life again.

But thank you! It felt good, after so many years of rape and abuse and assault - it just felt good to stand up and say NO MORE. And I had to, to keep James safe as well. It was worth it. As for your situation, I am proud of you, too! I'm sure it was difficult, and I hope you hear back soon. Waiting is the worst, but you have a strong case on your side, just as I had.

Love to you, too, always. <3

Date: 2017-04-19 09:12 pm (UTC)
bsgsix: (Default)
From: [personal profile] bsgsix
I totally understand. I'm on FB to post pics of James, or cute stories, or the occasional serious issue/health update, but otherwise? It's a triggering mess right now, and I don't need it. I'm fine focusing on the real world, though I would like to start writing here. I don't have many friends here, though, so I don't know who would read - but I DO know you're here, so I'm not alone. :)

And yeah, FB also seems like the place to brag. Look at this wedding! Look at my 9 kids! Look at how healthy and normal I am! And I feel out of place. I'm an incurably ill mother of one who lost babies because her body rejected life. I don't go out much because 1)people can bother me and 2)I'm too sick and/or exhausted. I can't relate to a lot of people in my age group. So I just do my own thing. I'm probably more myself when I avoid what everyone else does and do the things that make me Mandi. And I think that's similar to you getting back to a place where you feel like Allie.

And thank you! I'm very happy with the outcome and haven't been bothered once since the final peace order was issued. That's a good step. :)

Love being sent to you as well!

Date: 2017-04-18 06:40 am (UTC)
kristy: Hugs (Hugs)
From: [personal profile] kristy
*hugs*

I sometimes rely on Klonopin. It does help but I do understand how you feel.

Date: 2017-04-18 07:54 pm (UTC)
kristy: Pink Star Splatter (Coffee Heart)
From: [personal profile] kristy
Thank you for the hugs.

Yes. It's used for those purposes & it does help.

Hopefully, your day is better, today.

Date: 2017-04-18 12:49 pm (UTC)
madamemermaid: (Default)
From: [personal profile] madamemermaid
I've often felt like that, but lately I've been really focusing on basic self care (which is super hard for me) and it's been easier for me to take a small dose of klonopin just to get me through the day. Doctors prescribe them for a reason. We're not weak for taking them. You are worth taking care of you.

Date: 2017-04-18 06:34 pm (UTC)
frostingpink: (Sad Princess)
From: [personal profile] frostingpink
I have to take Halperdol when I get upset. Things work in a snap, and I'm back in a good mood.

Date: 2017-04-19 06:07 pm (UTC)
frostingpink: (Bitch please!)
From: [personal profile] frostingpink
Never knew that about it. I was in the hospital once and they gave me four of those and a large dose of Depakote. I was mad at the staff about there not being therapy, them not letting me have my baby blanket, and because of the high dosage of meds, I hallucinated and for some reason threatened a staff member if she didn't open the door of her office. I don't really remember that. Also, some months later my psychiatrist argued with me about wanting to be Buddhist. I had mentioned it in the hospital, and I guess they thought it was "bad" or something. -____- Have felt horrible about that ever since. I feel like I gave Buddhism a bad name. >_____

Date: 2017-04-21 09:38 pm (UTC)
frostingpink: (Default)
From: [personal profile] frostingpink
Luckily for me, I saw her for the last time last month, as she is going to be semi-retired. I now get to see a new CRNP now, and she used to be a nurse who would check my blood pressure and so on. She is AWESOME!@

Date: 2017-04-24 11:07 pm (UTC)
frostingpink: (Arwen)
From: [personal profile] frostingpink
Embrace your inner Buddhist!

Absolutely!

Date: 2017-04-18 10:15 pm (UTC)
fidget: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fidget
Whenever I was doing MRIs and had a claustrophobic patient, we'd write a persciption for Ativan to get them through it. Ativan does miraculous things. So, no, there's nothing wrong with taking it as prescribed.

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