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It's nearly 4 a.m. and I'm still wide awake. This undoubtedly is because I slept for a full twelve hours last night, and didn't wake up until nearly 1 p.m. I'm reading in bed, The Great Zoo of China, which is a repeat of Jurassic Park, only set in China, and with dragons instead of dinosaurs. The writing isn't great, dialogue rather stilted, but it's not a long book, so I'll finish it.

I've been watching "Big Love" on CraveTV - a TV show about a polygamist family in Utah - and there was a scene where women were lamenting being evicted from their homes on the FLDS compound with only five minutes to collect their things. I was astounded at how hard this hit me. I am not going into detail, but last October I was illegally evicted from where I was living in the Canadian Arctic with two hours to get out. This happened in the peak of polar bear season, which means peak tourist season; there were no hotel rooms and it was a really and truly horrible and dangerous situation which has left me traumatized and scared of my own shadow. I had no idea that the mere mention of eviction on a TV show would affect me as sharply as it did. Thank goodness I have a therapist.

I'm still thinking about the teaching ESL thing. I haven't made up my mind. It seems like a good idea. I can get certified online, and I can probably get financial aid for the cost of the course. But before I make any decision, I'll need to investigate the job market to see whether or not I'd be likely to get a job teaching English as a Second Language either locally or overseas. I'm 53, and many of the overseas options close at age 50, I am given to understand. I also don't live in a big city centre that attracts a lot of immigrants, and I'd be reluctant to move to another city, partially because I don't have the money to relocate. So I will have to research job opportunites and then make a decision. Also, it is a bit daunting, at my age, to be starting an entirely new venture. This is the part of my life where I always thought I'd be gliding towards retirement - my dad retired at 55, and my mum a couple of years after that - not starting anew. I am feeling timid, and will need to gather some courage to make a new life for myself.

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princessofburundi

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