Apr. 18th, 2017


Apr. 18th, 2017 02:59 pm
princessofburundi: (Default)
It's 3:00 pm and I'm beat. I have so much to do around the house but it's going to have to wait for an hour or two.

This morning I had to fend off another powerful panic attack - brain, this can stop anytime you like, preferably NOW - and then shower and dress and put makeup on to have lunch with my mum. Picked up cat supplies en route to lunch; spent lunch hour hearing about how I have no backbone and am too dependent upon people. Heard the story of my suffragette grandmother who emigrated to Canada, arriving in Toronto with 29 cents in her poocket, and how she didn't let that get her down. Apparently, getting help from social workers and the hospital is another form of weakness; I should be taking care of my mental health without "leeching" (I'm quoting) off community services. My mum is so good to me except when she isn't, and today she really, really wasn't, but at least she paid for lunch.

Picked up prescriptions, did a healthy shop - no junk except for pretzels, which are lower calorie and salt than potato chips - as my blood sugar is quite high - last night it was 15.2 which is way over the top. I wonder if high blood sugar and panic attacks are related?

Now I'm just going to sit here for a bit and release the tension and the tiredness. Then I must do chores, bleah.


Apr. 18th, 2017 03:29 pm
princessofburundi: (Default)
So many people commented on my post about my feeling bad for taking Ativan. I can't even begin to express how helpful the comments were. I've gone from feeling like a failure for taking them to feeling like they are necessary pills for my brain, which isn't producing the chemicals I need for good mental health. Thank you to all of you who commented. You all gave me so much strength. This is why I've missed LJ. You can learn so much from the experience and knowledge and kindness of other people.

*am crying, but with pleasure and relief*


princessofburundi: (Default)

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