What a good day

Jul. 5th, 2025 11:37 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

D came along to lift club this morning! It's so much more fun when he's there.

This afternoon we had a snuggly nap.

When I woke up this evening, [personal profile] angelofthenorth was making amazing delicious food. It smelled so good. What a treat.

This evening, D and I had a couple beers and watched the Twins actually win a game! And explained things to [personal profile] angelofthenorth as they came up.

conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
Though, upon reflection, it's surprising that this hasn't happened before in 30+ years of menstruation )

I'd say that was the worst thing to happen this weekend, but then I glanced at the news, and how do things keep getting worse? I thought we might at least get a reprieve over the holiday weekend, Congress would all go on vacation and not pass any terrible bills in the interim, but I guess not.

I'm not linking to it, not today. I know how to take a break, even if they don't. Take this article on amenorrhea instead.
tielan: Maria & Steve walking in sync (in sync)
[personal profile] tielan
Writing has been difficult. I only wrote 10,000 words this month and I don't think too much of that was new. I've been having trouble rewriting the novel. Feeling very didactic right now.

the bit where fiction is about the real world, too )

And yes, it's hard to focus on writing sometimes when my train of thought just wants to scatter.

Maybe with a (more or less) clear weekend, I can get some focused writing done? IDEK. I hate rewriting.

--

Also, I'm tired.

a few things at the end of the week

Jul. 4th, 2025 08:51 am
tielan: four lemming toys at the grand canyon (travel)
[personal profile] tielan
Working this Saturday - about 4 hours. I get time off in lieu, which is better than nothing but also...kind of annoying. I didn't have that much on anyway, and can spend the day in my room, crafting and waiting for a ping of notifications.

Project Manager acknowledged the holiday. Still haven't received notification that my contract is being renewed though, but I can't imagine they have anyone else positioned to do my job yet...

All my holiday tours are paid for. Once I have the renewal of work contract, I shall go ahead and book/check my places to stay.

--

B2's strata management (HOA, but less about aesthetics more about practicalities) is wanting another payment for the 'collective kitty' for works around the building. I am personally of the opinion that this is being driven by a retiree who has invested in an apartment in the building and doesn't really care if the works are too expensive for the owner-occupiers, because she can just raise the rent on her renters and unless they want to be kicked out.

Anyway, that stresses B2 out and she comes and stresses on us...

(I tend to hide out in the study when that happens, I love B2, but she is very loud and present and I'm not always up for that. B1 seems to enjoy her being here...except when B2 is stressing on B1.)

And she won't accept assistance from the parentals (which I understand, because financial assistance to the parental generation tends to mean they feel they have a right to have a say in your life which...even I - living pretty much in a way they don't criticise as much - don't want that).

--

Will try to join in with [community profile] sunshine_revival but I feel...out of it. I'm not involved in any of the fandoms that most people are involved in, and my characters and pairings are all out of joint (mostly thx to TPTB, who never seem to see in my favourites what I see in them).

I have adjusted my sign-ups and profiles and stuff to state that I'm against AI. But even putting those statements out there feels like waving a flag telling people to kick me, I'm so used to having my fannish preferences weaponised.

Train, train, take me away

Jul. 3rd, 2025 05:38 pm
dorchadas: (Chicago)
[personal profile] dorchadas
Current sitting on the train waiting for it to leave. I was just having a discussion with people about how America's train network is bad, and to be fair a lot of it is extremely bad (if you're not a freight container), but at least in Chicago I can take the L from my home downtown, take the bus from the L stop to the train station--well, I could have, I walked--and then take the train from Chicago out to the suburbs to visit my family. Not owning a car saves our family quite a lot of money, which is good considering how much we spend on health care even with good insurance.

The weather continues to be awful. Today it's 31°C (feels like 36°) with 81% humidity, about the temperature it's been all week and the temperature it's going to be until Monday. We kept getting threats of a thunderstorm and it kept not happening, except for maybe a few drops of rain here and there. On Sunday, Laila had a make-up swimming lesson and literally right before I was going to leave, I checked my phone and there was a warning about a massive thunderstorm sweeping through with winds up to 45 mph, possible tree branch falls, and a note to seek shelter immediately and not to go outside. I broke the news to Laila, who had been eagerly shouting about going swimming, and she got quiet and walked over to her room. When I asked her if she wanted me to hang out with her in room or read her a story, she looked up at me, said, "No" and shut the door.

She ended up taking an angry nap. I told that to the other dads at the Jewish dads meeting I went to and they were very impressed--one said it was a better way of dealing with her frustration than they managed sometimes.

It turned out that we did not get anything more than a few raindrops, but that's because the rain went north of us. Ravinia got multiple inches in an hour.

Train's moving. Time to get back to reading.

Based and Orbpilled

Jun. 20th, 2025 09:10 am
dorchadas: (Music of the Spheres)
[personal profile] dorchadas
Yesterday, after binging it over the course of a week and a half, I went to a discussion about チ。―地球の運動について― (chi. chikyū no undō ni tsuite, "Orb: On the movements of the Earth"), a series about the progress toward the Copernican Revolution, and talked about it for an hour and a half. Summary: ★★★★★

Discussion below spoils the entire show:
Orbpilled )

Notes I took while watching )

Tedious and tired

Jul. 3rd, 2025 01:38 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

Yesterday was worse.

Making dinner was so hard I couldn't eat dinner. I just laid on my bed and couldn't talk or think properly at all.

It was scary because it meant that the problem wasn't contained in the immediate aftermath of counseling or whatever (not that I really expected it to be, given that I'd actually spent most of the session talking about how I was surprised not to be triggered by something that very reasonably could have been expected to leave me feeling really bad). And it was miserable.

I ended up sleeping for three or four hours and woke up because I needed to pee and D came to bed about that time. He thought I was asleep because I didn't move or talk. Until I had to get up for the bathroom and then after I came back to bed I was sobbing and we talked a little.

The conversation was good and useful. We came up with some plans. I know D has been struggling with poor sleep and I wouldn't have done this after midnight if I'd had much choice about it. But I did feel much better afterwards.

Today has started normally. But then so did yesterday (I was relieved when I could open the curtains and do chores while feeling okay), so who kmows.

conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
Moonpie's foot looks better, we didn't end up having to take her for an x-ray at all.

************************


Read more... )

Bleeding

Jul. 4th, 2025 05:02 pm
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
Ugh

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Read more... )
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
On the day the world ends
A bee circles a clover,
A fisherman mends a glimmering net.
Happy porpoises jump in the sea,
By the rainspout young sparrows are playing
And the snake is gold-skinned as it should always be.

On the day the world ends
Women walk through the fields under their umbrellas,
A drunkard grows sleepy at the edge of a lawn,
Vegetable peddlers shout in the street
And a yellow-sailed boat comes nearer the island,
The voice of a violin lasts in the air
And leads into a starry night.

And those who expected lightning and thunder
Are disappointed.
And those who expected signs and archangels’ trumps
Do not believe it is happening now.
As long as the sun and the moon are above,
As long as the bumblebee visits a rose,
As long as rosy infants are born
No one believes it is happening now.

Only a white-haired old man, who would be a prophet
Yet is not a prophet, for he’s much too busy,
Repeats while he binds his tomatoes:
There will be no other end of the world,
There will be no other end of the world.

Warsaw, 1944


***


Link
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

I could barely do the morning chores I usually feel neutral-to-positive about this morning -- I open the curtains, unload the dishwasher, make a pot of tea, get breakfast for myself... Things that are always the same and always different. It can be very grounding.

Today I wasn't especially tired and I wasn't in pain or anything, I just didn't want to. I couldn't imagine doing the first tiniest step.

This is a sign of burnout. I need a break. I was telling my counselor this evening that a break for me has to be somewhere away from my house, because my house is full of reminders of chores I need to do, things that get on my nerves, etc. I am not good at relaxing, but when I can do it it doesn't tend to happen at home.

I did an okay amount of work today but near the end of the day I was in this focus group about "inclusion" in our workplace. These things can be kinda therapeutic but by the end I was thinking that we keep having surveys and stuff like this, where we tell some nice external person all our woes and we're assured that the feedback is anonymized into themes that cannot identify us, but all that means is our specific nuanced articulations all get flattened in to "we all have good colleagues who care about their work but the executive team keep letting us down," and we're going to get the same kind of response from said executive team about how impressed they are at everyone's honesty and how committed they are to addressing these themes, and then we'll do this all over again in a year or two.

I felt really tired by the end of it, which wasn't great because it was almost time for my first counseling session in almost a month. A real "let me explain, no there is too much let me sum up" kind of situation.

My counseling happens on the phone and usually in my bedroom; I normally come right back downstairs in search of dinner, but this time I just lay on my bed for something ridiculous like an hour. I kept trying to get up and go back downstairs but again: so many steps. And it was relatively peaceful just lying there.

Since I had to come downstairs and try to eat dinner I'm feeling more depersonalization, so maybe all of this has been more stressful or triggery than I realized. I hate feeling like this; is probably the most uncomfortable symptom of my anxiety/depression.

Rebuilding journal search again

Jun. 30th, 2025 03:18 pm
alierak: (Default)
[personal profile] alierak posting in [site community profile] dw_maintenance
We're having to rebuild the search server again (previously, previously). It will take a few days to reindex all the content.

Meanwhile search services should be running, but probably returning no results or incomplete results for most queries.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
Season finale spoiler )

During the Christmas episode we saw the firm's acapella group, which might have just been an excuse to highlight one character's amazing singing voice. Anyway, they were singing White Winter Hymnal, and I'm going to just post two quick videos, the original version and a different acapella cover:





(Those lyrics can't be entirely right - surely the pack is swaddled in their coats, not swallowed?)

Anyway, you'll notice that in the first one they weirdly pronounce "the" with a "long e" (the vowel in pee) before the words "white snow". Does that strike anybody else as a weird place to do that?

Crossover time!

Jun. 29th, 2025 07:48 pm
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
I was looking up fictional law firm names and you know how Angel has the evil law firm Wolfram and Hart? Apparently NCIS has Wolfram, Hart and Donowitz. No word on if they're evil. Are they evil?

********************


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hockey draw - woot!

Jun. 30th, 2025 09:12 am
tielan: (SGA - john)
[personal profile] tielan
I made foccacia. It was good.

We also drew our hockey game on Sunday! 1-1!

(We won for the first time a couple of weeks back and it was Very Good.)

hockey report )

I've spoken about how this is a tricksy year for hockey in a post earlier this year. But I am enjoying some of the games, even when we're getting beaten. And we are improving.

But it can still be frustrating to see players who aren't ready for this grade (and aren't improving) struggle in the face of it.

Sparkly day

Jun. 29th, 2025 08:49 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

D and I spent the afternoon wandering around Sparkle, supporting local queer and trans creators by purchasing many stickers and suchlike for V and D's girlfriend who weren't able to make it, having ice cream, getting excited about the many good dogs we saw, and then going for cocktails and taking a photo of ourselves kissing.

Babylon White

Jun. 29th, 2025 01:18 pm
marycatelli: (Golden Hair)
[personal profile] marycatelli posting in [community profile] book_love
Babylon White by Kit Sun Cheah

The grand conclusion! Spoilers for earlier books ahead.

Read more... )

Been watching new Matlock with Jenn

Jun. 28th, 2025 07:49 pm
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
The set and costume designers heard about blue-and-orange color schemes and just decided to run with it. I swear, they bought out everything blue in the store. Even the post-its are blue! And what isn't blue or teal is orange, or tan, or gold.

***************


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ugh day

Jun. 29th, 2025 12:33 pm
tielan: (trek)
[personal profile] tielan
If I do nothing else today, I'm going to make foccacia.

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