Sleepy

[princessofburundi]

It's only 6 p.m. but I'm just about ready for sleep. If I nap now there will be no sleep tonight, so I'm working hard on staying awake.

Yesterday I went over to a young friend's place. She has a 10-week old baby boy to whom I am an unofficial auntie, and I love that little boy so much. He is so cute and warm and sweet. M. started inviting me over when her little one was three days old; I was really struggling with depression around the time he was born and she thought snuggling her little baby might help me feel better. It did. I go over every week, and I enjoy both her company and cuddling Mr. Adorable. I think the thing that helps me most about it is that M. often goes out while I'm there to have a bit of a break from the baby, and I realize how much she must trust me to leave me with both her young boy and her apartment. That trust gives me a real boost of self-esteem.

Most Fridays I meet my mum for coffee at the local shopping mall; I did so today. I don't go over to her place much as my dad has become such difficult company and it's impossible to have a conversation with my mum when he's around. My dad's an amputee, and although he can do a fair bit for himself he much prefers being waited on, and he's utterly rude to those people who are helping him. Never a word of thanks. My mum likes the opportunity to get away from him, and I get that. It's always nice to meet up with her; I look forward to it.

I think I'm going to try to qualify to teach English as a Second Language. I'm not sure yet, but it does seem like a good idea. I think I am probably too old to teach overseas, but I could teach it locally to immigrants, or I could teach it online; I've noticed a lot of postings for online ESL teaching. It would allow me to support myself, and to feel more independent, plus I think I'd really like the work. I have a BA and an MA in English, so I have a good background for the job. At the same time I think I will brush up on my Spanish speaking - most of it has disappeared - and see if that helps me work with immigrants from Spanish-speaking countries. There are a lot of immigrants in Canada from Central and South America. Anyway, this is just something I'm thinking about, but the more I think about it the more I like the idea.

Comments

[kristy]

I'm glad you had a nice time with your mom. I know how it is when some people don't appreciate being helped.

Happy weekend!

[8hyenas]

I'm not sure how old you are, but I just want to say that you're probably not too old to teach overseas. I mean, you could be, but unlikely. I think young people are more likely to do so (no kids etc.) but that's not a requirement. Unless you feel too old to teach overseas. Which I do.

[princessofburundi]

I'm 53. A lot of places won't accept teachers over 50.

I feel too old to teach overseas, but then again I feel too old to wash my dishes, so I think that's all down to depression. The thought of teaching in Asia fills me with trepidation, but there are some jobs in places like Peru and Chile that actually excite me. It would give me a chance to brush up on my Spanish as well as earn a living.

[seraphina_snape]

Who says you're too old to teach overseas? As long as you have the qualifications, I don't see anything stopping you. Besides, adults who learn a new language (for whatever reason) might feel more comfortable with someone around their age or older rather than someone who's young enough to be their son/daughter. I know age isn't a marker of skill, but there's this misconception in society that if two people have the same job and one of them is twenty years older than the other, that the older person has more experience.

[princessofburundi]

Some places have age limits for teachers. Usually it's age 50, and I'm 53. Yesterday I found a place where the cut off age is 52, which is just plain weird. I plan to see if I can teach ESL online, and I've not seen any age limits for that.

I agree with you about older adults feeling more comfortable around people of their age group.

[iddewes]

Aww I am glad the little guy makes you feel better. :) Good luck with the ESL. You can do a TOEFL course in 6 weeks, it should be easy enough for you. I did one and I have done some teaching but I really don't like it so I'm not doing that anymore. Just don't like doing lesson plans basically. I don't mind chatting to the students.

[princessofburundi]

The little guy really does make me feel better. I think that much of my problem is a complete lack of physical contact - I can go weeks with no one to hug or snuggle with it and it's hard on the soul. Having the little one to snuggle is a lifesaver for me. Damn, I miss hugs so much.

I think lesson plans sound like fun. I used to watch my mum, an elementary school teacher, make lessons plans, and always wished that it were me! But to each his own - I'm more scared about standing in front of a classroom.

[wolfpack82]

I remember when Ethan was younger, I used to just stare at him because he was so cute about the little things(like rolling over) and now he's just full of sass!
You're never too old to do something new...

[princessofburundi]

You're probably right about not being too old to try something new. I think the problem is that most of my energy is used by dealing with depression, and I simply feel old and tired.

[wolfpack82]

Oh, I know the feeling all too well. I hate how sometimes it's just so easy with others, and then for the rest of us it's twice as hard.

[princessofburundi]

I know. Even phone calls tire me, and I dread making them. I'm living in hope that the depression starts to lift really soon! Sorry that you're in the same boat.

[wolfpack82]

Oh, yeah. I feel too cruddy to even work on my hobby & that it out of pure enjoyment. :(

[princessofburundi]

What is your hobby?

I'm a big reader and depression kills my concentration so that I can't read. I haven't picked up a knitting needle or a pencil crayon or anything like that in months, nor have I been to the gym, not since January. And people tell me, "do x and y" and you'll feel better, and they don't seem to understand that it takes more energy than I have to do those things. I'm glad that you understand. It makes me feel less like a failure, and boy, do I feel like a failure most days.

[wolfpack82]

I'm a bookwhore as well, though I do read. I'm really into "snail mail". I love writing letters and responding to people through paper letters instead of e-mail. I also like to make stationary and do other related crafts. I can read, watch netflix right now, but just feel so bleh in general.

We're just going through a "rut" that's all. Hopefully, we'll get out of it soon.

[princessofburundi]

I hope we both get out of this rut soon. It's not fun, but let me tell you, I'm so glad that I've found someone who understands what I'm going through.

How do you make stationery? I'd like to learn to do that!

Hugs coming your way.

[wolfpack82]

Hubby is a geek and he showed me how to make stationary on the computer along with a matching rnvelope. When I feel like making some, I'll share photos. You can also search for "free printable stationary" on google, too. I also have tons of washi tape and stickers if I want to write on just notebook paper.

He says the same thing too, when I get in these moods.