I called a crisis line tonight when my thoughts got really dark, and one of the things that the excellent counsellor made me realize is that although I am at a very low point in my life, that I have a lot to be grateful for. I don't think about that enough. He suggested making a gratitude list, and I'm going to do so here; no one needs to read it, although you're welcome to as well.
- I live in Canada, a safe and democratic country, where no wars are being waged and where there's excellent universal healthcare.
- I have a roof - a nice roof, at that - over my head.
- Even on bad days when all I want to do is collapse into bed, I have a terrific bed, all comfy and soft, with fluffy pillows and warm blankets and high thread count Egyptian cotton sheets.
- Teddy bears!
- Super-soft snuggly blankets
- Food to eat, healthy stuff, that's good for my body.
- A roommate who is no trouble at all and who regularly brings me home pizza and chocolate and Diet Pepsi.
- I have three healthy, happy children. And some guilt about that not being higher on the list.
- I have cats! I am particularly grateful for Roo, who loves her mummy and cuddles her when she's sad.
- I have a vacation to look forward to, and new places to see, and a mum to enjoy the travels with.
- I will be spending Christmas this year with my son in Vancouver, and with his fiancee's family, which will be super.
- God. (That should have been first. Whoops!)
- So many books.
- A phone and money to pay the phone bill.
- A car and money to put gas in it.
- A computer.
- Clothes for the heat of summer and the bitter cold of winter.
- A therapist, a social worker, and a psychiatrist! All for free!
Wow. I have a lot, and I'm only just getting started. I feel decidedly less gloomy now.