Apr. 19th, 2017 02:38 pm
princessofburundi: (Default)
I just went to a therapist's appointment at the hospital for the first time. Holy crap, it was hard. Talking about all that *stuff* that I keep bottled up inside of me was so difficult, and I spent most of the appointment in tears. One thing I learned is that my waterproof mascara isn't all that waterproof. Another thing I learned is that grieving sucks. All this anger I feel? Part of grieving. Part of the path to wellness and acceptance.

I'm not ready to talk here about what I'm grieving. It's not a death but a huge loss. It's been overwhelming. And it's just so scary to talk about. I feel that if I start to write about it that I'll never stop, that my words will flow like tears across the page.

That's all. I have posted that I'm having a hard time and that's all I really want to say right now.

There isn't an emoticon offered that expresses grief and anger and hurt and being overwhelmed all at once, like a torrent of emotional lava engulfing me. So I'm just going to use "gloomy" which is the best I can find to describe both my mood and the weather today. 



princessofburundi: (Default)

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