Therapy

[princessofburundi]

I just went to a therapist's appointment at the hospital for the first time. Holy crap, it was hard. Talking about all that *stuff* that I keep bottled up inside of me was so difficult, and I spent most of the appointment in tears. One thing I learned is that my waterproof mascara isn't all that waterproof. Another thing I learned is that grieving sucks. All this anger I feel? Part of grieving. Part of the path to wellness and acceptance.

I'm not ready to talk here about what I'm grieving. It's not a death but a huge loss. It's been overwhelming. And it's just so scary to talk about. I feel that if I start to write about it that I'll never stop, that my words will flow like tears across the page.

That's all. I have posted that I'm having a hard time and that's all I really want to say right now.

There isn't an emoticon offered that expresses grief and anger and hurt and being overwhelmed all at once, like a torrent of emotional lava engulfing me. So I'm just going to use "gloomy" which is the best I can find to describe both my mood and the weather today. 

 

Comments

[princessofburundi]

Thank you for the hugs.

I could journal here and keep the post private, only seen by me. That's a good idea, journalling for myself, thanks for the suggestion.

What is an energy worker? My mind immediately thought "electrician"! but that's not what you meant, at least I very much doubt it!

[irish_dragon]

a reiki practitioner is would be a type of energy healer.

There are several types of Energy workers. I try out psychic or alternative healing fairs to test out local healers. I find this is a very good venue to try out local healers, and find one you like spending time with. That you mesh or sync well with.

[princessofburundi]

I would be surprised if the city I live in even has a reiki practitioner, but as I don't like massages, I will investigate reiki. I've heard of it before, but know nothing about it. Can reiki be used to help with mental health problems?

[irish_dragon]

It can, but it usually depends on both parties, and whether or not the person who is coming for assistance, is willing to accept the assistance.

If you are a reader, you may also read The Emotional Code. Which goes into buried/trapped emotions and how to release them. It's by a chiropractor, I believe.

[princessofburundi]

I'm ready to try anything to get some relief from this damned depression, so if I can find a reiki practitioner (and can afford same) I will give it a shot. I've even considered acupuncture, anything, because the psych drugs are doing nothing at all. Most nights I wonder why I even bother to take them.

The Emotional Code - I will look for it. I am a vast reader, and always interested in books that might help me heal. Thank you for your suggestion.

I'm afraid of bats, but your bat icon is so darned cute that even I like it. :)

[irish_dragon]

I had a little girl give me a very glittery funny bat for halloween one year. It's on my goal board for decoration. I put my random amusing gifts up to look at.

Like the pin that says "santa, I can explain..."